Thursday, December 22, 2011

Parenthood

I never really realized what being a parent meant until our doctor told me I had to have a C-section. My first thought was that something would go wrong -that something would happen to Jonas. I tried so hard to stay strong, because I knew how scary it was for Jordan. I was so afraid... until I heard Jonas cry. I told Jordan to go to him. I asked if he had any hair... and he did. I felt so much relief. I don't know why, but at that moment Jonas having hair translated to healthy.

For me, parenthood means:
  • Waking up, after only sleeping for 2 hours, just to check that your little baby is breathing. 
  • Crying when you can't take away the pain.
  • Laughing when someone pees on you.
  • Feeling so much love for something so small.
  • Knowing you would do anything to protect him.
It means everything has changed.

I now look at Jordan and see him as such an amazing role model and friend. I now see every threat my parents tried to protect me from and at times I am so full of fear and anxiety it is difficult just to enjoy the little moments with Jonas. The way he curls up in a ball as he stretches and yawns after his naps. The way I felt when I knew he was really starting to see me. The first day that he snuggled with me (and not just rooting for a meal). There really are so many small precious moments that make me love this new life more and more with each passing day.

Squeaker


The first day or so in the hospital, before Jonas would cry he would make these little squeaks that sounded like a bird or a little dinosaur... so we started calling him Squeaker. It has stuck. I love my little Squeaker, no matter how fussy he gets.

Plus, it still reminds me of The Land Before Time... so it definitely works for me.

Welcome to the World, Baby Jonas

So, this post is a little late but better late than never right?

Welcome to the world!


The Stats:
Jonas was born September 16, 2011 at 4:11 p.m.
10 pounds 1 ounce, 21.75 inches

The Birth:
Jordan and I went into the hospital at 5:30 p.m. I had been at work and by 3 p.m. my contractions were too strong to ignore, and they made driving home quite difficult. I called Jordan at work and told him I might be going into labor. He told me to call Dr. Bury. I did and he told me we should come in, just in  case. So Jordan left work, came home and got us packed and off we went!

We checked in and met our nurse, whose name has slipped my mind. She was amazing. She helped with breathing techniques for Jordan to keep me focused.

I will fill in these details later. I just wanted a place holder!

Friday, September 9, 2011

Little Foot

Today is my 26th birthday and I am 38 weeks pregnant. Before work today, Jordan and I hit up some garage sales and I was thinking if what (if any) kind of nickname we would be giving Jonas. Then as his foot poked hard out of my right side... "Oh, Little Foot," I sighed. 

Little Foot. I like it. 

I like it because it reminds me of one of my favorite childhood movies "The Land Before Time" - and it just makes me smile. Who knows if it will stick, but for now my term of endearment for my little guy will be that.


Little Foot has been shoving at least one of his feet as far to the right as possible since about 20 weeks. I could hardly believe it at the time, because my bump was cute and didn't seem to go as far as this little foot was going. Well, now as my bump has turned into quite the belly, he is still pushing the boundaries of just how far this foot can go. I have to say that it makes me start tearing up when I think about it. It is silly, but I feel like this is one of those little special things that only I share with my little guy. It reminds me daily (if not hourly) that he is in there.

Summer Update

So, a lot has happened since the last update. We found out our little surprise is a HE and we are naming him Jonas Eugene Judkins. Jonas, is in fact, from first track of the first album of the band Weezer in the self-titled album that was released in 1994. It was most definitely Jordan's idea but I love the name and I love the album so what more could you ask for I suppose. Eugene was Jordan's maternal grandfather's middle name, and since Jordan has such a deep love and respect for his grandfather it seemed like the best choice for our little guy.

My second and thrid trimesters have flown by - it has of course been summer so we have been SO incredibly busy. My mom and dad have been visiting a lot and it has been super helpful for me. I have felt so much emotional support from them, it has helped me prepare for our upcoming journey into parenthood. When we found out we were expecting one of the main concerns was our apartment in the Capitol Hill area of Denver. For a young couple, this apartment is perfect - but for a small family... not so much. Thankfully when Jordan talked to our landlord he decided to let us out of our year lease and we found a town home much closer to my work and in more of a family-friendly area that we could move into in August. We moved in just four weeks ago and have been trying to get unpack and ready, but as I said it is summer. Before we moved we took a long 12-hour trip to Idaho and visited the Banta families. My mom planned an awesome shower with my aunts, grandparents, cousins, and even my sister-in-law Brooke came with her boys (they had just moved back from Texas)! It was so amamzing to be together with the so many Banta's again, it has been so long. And when we got back, we moved that next week to our new place! So the weekend after we moved in Jordan's mom and brother visited and I was surprised with another baby shower by a friend. So, needless to say the weekend was filled with lots of fun and not very much unpacking :) but it was so great to see Jason and Ruth that it didn't matter to Jordan and I. It is so amazing how blessed Jordan and I are. We have such amazing family and friends, it is honestly overwhelming. And to end the summer right, just last weekend we traveled to Star Valley for one of my very best friend's wedding. Trish Ludwig and Jesse Kingdon have officially sealed the deal on August 27th! I was a bridesmaid and honestly looked ridiculously pregnant, especially because the other girls are all petite little bean poles, but I wouldn't have had it any other way. We danced and had such an awesome time. I really enjoyed the chance for Jordan to spend a little more time in my home town, mainly because I know we won't be going back there often. Then Labor Day weekend, my parents came up and helped us get the nursery ready. We sanded and painted some only furniture give to us by a friend for Jonas' room and for some other parts of the house. It is all coming together and starting to feel like home - and I love it! This weekend Jordan and I are planning on cleaning like crazy because we are down to the final count!

We found out at 20 weeks that I needed to take Lovenox shots for a blood-clotting disorder that I have in order to keep our little guy safe. For those of you who don't know - I am deathly afraid of needles so our first round of shots was quite the ordeal but now it is part of the daily routine, but a part of the routine I cannot wait to leave behind in a month and an half. But other than that bump, I have had a great pregnancy. The second trimester I felt pretty much back to my old self (with an ever growing belly) and the third trimester has been the same. It has been in the last few weeks that I have felt ready to be done. I don't want to be pregnant anymore. But, we only have one more week! Because of the clotting disorder my doctor is inducing me at 39 weeks. So as long as nothing happens between then and now, we are going in on the evening of September 18th and our boy should be with us on the 19th. Hooray!

I have been thinking about how time has flown. I just had my 6 month review at my job with the Douglas County Libraries and it went wonderfully. I love my job and my co-workers. I am going to miss seeing a room full of awesome, funny, talented women everyday while I am leave. So many awesome things have happened this summer, and I have loved it all. It seems like a distant foggy memory that I was sad or upset about having a baby, because now I am just SO excited. I am still nervous as can be, but I cannot wait for our Jonas to get here!

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Giving a little thanks...

My mother
Springtime
Jordan Andrew Judkins
Soft warm beds
Baby kicks (literally)
A wonderful job
An understanding landlord

I would like to try and stay more positive.  There are lots of things
that COULD happen, but for  today these things (and many
many more wonderful awesome things) are all mine.

Friday, April 1, 2011

A Life of the Unexpected

So it is hard to sum up all the crazy changes that have occurred for Jordan and I since... well, since we met in general. The last two and a half years have been full of a lot of changes. For us, all these changes have been awesome most of the time, overwhelming some of the time, but thankfully it has all worked out just wonderfully.

The most recent changes have been our move out of Wyoming. I had been interviewing for a position in Denver starting in late September. After two phone interviews, three trips for face-to-face interviews - I was suppose to start my position December 1. So we made the plans and then four days before the big move I was informed that the budget had been cut and the position I was interviewed for had been eliminated. So, we were in tough spot. Stay or go?

Obviously we decided to go. So, we moved in early December into our downtown Denver apartment. The move went smoothly (with the help of four of Jordan's friends). We live on the 6th floor of an older apartment building (more awkward than vintage old), and our place is newly remodeled with a lovely little balcony. So as far as living goes, we have been set.

It was upon returning from Christmas vacation in early January that the stress of me still not getting any calls or interviews for a job actually became real. We were running out of funds and quickly. Even though Jordan and I were happy to have made the decision to move - it was becoming more apparent that I was probably going to have to accept a position that was much below my expectations (aka ANYTHING). I got a bite from a Banana Republic that is near our home and started a few shifts. I was excited to be working but pretty disappointed to not be using my degrees (especially since it has taken over 6 years to get my two degrees in the first place). That same week I got an interview for about 5 design related positions! I was thrilled! Long story short, I was offered a graphic design position with the Douglas County Libraries and I accepted!

While this was exciting news for us, we had another little thing had come up... I was pregnant. I am specifically using a period at the end of that sentence because it was more overwhelming than exciting. Luckily we found this new out a whopping two days after receiving my job offer, so at least I had a job, right?

The first doctors appointment was probably different that most. Jordan and I nervously chit chatted, but there was a lot of awkward silence - mainly because if I would have spoken I would have been in tears. I know, I know - how terrible, a baby is a blessing, blah blah blah. I am embarrassed to admit this fact because I don't want to sound heartless, but it is oh so true that I was not excited about it. Needless to say - I ended up crying most of the way home (and not out of joy).

Since the news was a surprise to us, I was grateful for the two weeks I had before I started my new job. Little did I know that most of that was going to be spent lying around and feeling quite ill. The term "Morning Sickness" implies that there will be relief at some point during the day and that was not quite the case for me. But, after the 10-week appointment, as Jordan and I were leaving the doctor's office - he grabbed me, wrapped his arms around me and said, "I am so excited to have a family with you." That simple gesture of joy, really made me feel good AND more comfortable with the reality of the situation - We are starting our family. It is happening a few years earlier than planned, but I am really grateful that it is. I know the Lord is just trying to show me once again, that I cannot control everything and blessing us with a child in the process.

Time has really flown by since. All of the changes have been - intense. But I feel that our relationship, our love, and our lives are better. I am excited to be starting a family with Jordan. He is so loving, kind, and understanding. He is going to be a great father, and I would be nothing without him. So, here is to a lifetime of the unexpected, with the man of my dreams. *Clink*